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lyrics

Could you call a feeling with a word?
Could you call upon the sky,
Without it falling,
To come to you?

If I had a camera that could capture the coming
I'd playback your leaving before you left
Fall in love with the inevitable end
And live at ease under a dying sky turned inside out

You and me posing as a heaven performed
Two angels' carved song, two skylarks stoic
For the clouds below yearning for a photo;
To record, film - write it in their water

Could you call a feeling with a word?
Could you call upon the sky,
Without it falling,
To come to you?
-
And I am reminded of you
When I take a sip of coffee
Every industrial cigarette
The sound of construction
When I see shoes with large heels
Dark hair that falls past shoulders
Trips to any waters where I can swim
When I sit in the metro and look at the seat next to me
Sight of stones scattered on the ground
Sweaters worn loosely
When someone smiles kindly toward me
Every song I find beautiful or disarming -
The sound of a charming voice over a crowd
When I sit down to work,
When I relax or work-out
And when I take a shower,
Go for a walk in a park or cemetery
Or simply to buy some bagels or croissants
When I travel by bus, or
Look at airplanes in the sky
See lavender or sage, especially a rosebush
Every pine or willow, and any tree with leaves or without
When someone asks me for directions and I don't know the answer,
But wish I could help in ways I'm still hoping to learn

And when I'm not reminded of you I think of you
Before I go to sleep, as I sleep, and when I wake up
When I put on a movie to try and slow my thoughts,
As I lie in bed holding my pillow
When I speak out loud to myself to say goodnight
And at day in my head when I speak to encourage myself
To carry on,
Simply one reason among millions
To live another day for someone other than myself
As I am emptying out to make space for a world seemingly full
When I am hungry and in need of sunlight under an overcast day
When I am searching to put something back into myself

But during morning meditation you disappear
And reappear after the alarm,
Calling me in a silence in a place I don't understand,
My dreams have become a desire for comfort
With you wherever,
Although every second is a challenge
As we live on separately
Working to let love fall on everything coming -
Not just in memories,
And when I think of the times I could feel everything growing:
As when you were by my side, trusting the moment we were in
Looking into my eyes or looking away
To a place I haven't been, and I am still looking for
With a faith I keep doubting without you presently here
Giving clues and hints in everything you do
I miss you and I love you,
But you have taken the tune of another song-
So I'm throwing it to the sky, letting it for the birds
In another life I was a skylark, and I sang that different song
From where I stand the tape reel spins forward and backward
Of my full length recording of a relationship

credits

from Full​-​Length Recording Of A Relationship, released September 2, 2022

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NO EXIST

No Exist is an ever-changing, evolving, devolving, non-hierarchical hierarchy. A collective without borders within a timeline of markers, signifiers, and limiters; currently run and managed solely and entirely DIY out of the Canadian countryside

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